Why so serious?

Who saw Batman this weekend?

It was pretty much the weekend of movies. Saw Batman with a girl from work. Rest in peace, Heath Ledger. Then we went to the cheap movie on Saturday and saw Indiana Jones. It was pretty good. I hate snakes. And last night, watched Braveheart for the first time ever. It was edited, and I was glad. But what a crazy-sad movie. Aw, poor William Wallace. Aside from the weekend of movies, yesterday I wrote letters. I played the organ. I accompanied the choir. Made some blueberry muffins (which were quite good) and I talked to Aunt Meg. It was a good day. I finally wrote Maureen a nice little letter, hopefully she thinks it's nice.


Anyway, I am antsy today, and it was a crappy day at work. And I get to go back to train. Here is one example of the crappiness that went on:

Resident "Bob" never wants anything to drink at lunch time. I took his order, and went to get his salad off the front table when he yells "Hey!" I turn around to see him holding up his glass. I said "Oh, 'Bob', you want some water today?" and I began to pour water into his glass. He yelled "NOOO!" and dumped the glass of water onto the table.

I am unable to keep my mouth shut anymore, so I said "Now, was that really necessary?"

My last day is August 12. It almost can't come soon enough.

Happy Penelope Day!

After a grueling 4month wait, my favorite movie has finally come out on DVD! For those of you who haven't seen this yet, DO!! It's really cute and funny, and there's a good message! If these things are not incentive enough, I have posted this nice picture.

Sing me a song

So I saw Jill's blog about songs of her summer. And I liked it. So I stole it.

1. "You Learn" by Alanis Morissette: I find myself humming this quite often. I'm a big fan of Alanis. She's like your basic "super-chick". And she dated hot Ryan Reynolds. Hollah!
"I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone. . .Wait until the dust settles"

2. "Picture to Burn" by Taylor Swift:
"I hate that stupid old pickup truck
You never let me drive
You're a redneck heartbreak
Who's really bad at lying
So watch me strike a match
On all my wasted time
As far as I'm concerned you're
Just another picture to burn"

Need I say more? Probably not.

3. "Untamed" by Gavin DeGraw: What do I love about this song? First of all, I love the singer/songwriter piano style of Mr Gavin. And I love his sexy voice. And this song just rocks. It's about somebody screwing with you and making you feel all tied down and crazy-like.

4. "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay: Let's be honest. I don't know what this song means. But I love the strings! And Chris Martin is just awesome.

5. "Cheers Darlin" by Damien Rice: This is kind of the song of 2008 for me. If you haven't noticed a theme-I am an angry girl. Actually, I've kind of passed the angry stage and moved myself into a nice realm of sarcasm and ridiculous laughing. But for the angry moments in life, this song is great. It reaks of that poiniant sarcasm that stings so much, but feels so good. And it's kinda blues-ey. If you're angry at someone, listen to this song.
Cheers darlin' - Here's to you and your lover boy
Cheers darlin' - I got years to wait around for you
Cheers darlin' - I've got your wedding bells in my ear
Cheers darlin' - You give me three cigarettes to smoke my tears away

What am I darlin'?
A whisper in your ear?
A piece of your cake?
What am I, darlin?
The boy you can fear?
Or your biggest mistake?

6. "The Call" by Regina Spektor: This was the song at the end of Prince Caspian. It gives me the chills. The lyrics can be very symbolic or very to-the-point. Both cases, I really like them. Kind of a nice and comforting thought when faced with change: "I'll come back when you call me. No need to say goodbye."

7. "Piece of my Heart" by Janis Joplin: Let's face it. This is the song of my life. I'm pretty sure it will be played at every major event in my life: my wedding, funeral, I will probably use that song to sing to my child in the womb and play it during childbirth.

Those of you that know me, I think you realize that I am not a hardnosed feminist-like person who hates men and wants more power. I'm not full of hatred and bitterness, and I try to be of good faith. Looking at this list, maybe not.

Here's to the men we love.
Here's to the men who love us.
But since the men we love aren't the men who love us,
Screw those damn men
Here's to us!

In the words of the Spice Girls: GIRL POWER!

Onward, pressing onward!

Holla! Who yo CNA? Dat's right-I AM! Bahahaha. I think probably the best feeling in the world is being finished with a class. Like that feeling when you finish your last final and you have the whole break. . . there's nothing like it. And that is how I feel. I have passed my CNA test, and I'm moving on the bigger and better things. Moving in hopefully the second week of August to cute Meghan's cute apartment with her cute roommates in Sandy. What a relief. I went down last Thursday and looked at the apt, and I loved it. Feel good about it. So in the words of Nelly, "Where da party at?" It's in Sandy. "Where da bacardi at?" Let's not talk about bacardi, cuz I think it sounds kinda good.

On a different note, stupid "Ike" freakin picked me up last night at choir. Not like "pick up line", but physically picked me up. He ran up to me and said "Sarah! I miss you girl!" And he picked me up. I hate when people do that. It makes me feel chubby. But really, Ike, stop touching me. You left me on a mountain, and you don't get to touch me.

List of things to do: budget this whole move thing, get me a J-O-B, make my grandma something cute and crafty for her birthday, EXERCISE OFF THE 7 POUNDS I'VE GAINED AT LAVA THIS WEEKEND.

I feel to scatterbrained to make any more sense.

I'm smart enough to be a CNA.

In fact, I have met CNA's who I really am not sure how they became CNA's. But today, I have a problem. Yesterday I had 4 problems, and I will tell you what they were. Today I have only one: I'M FREAKING OUT ABOUT MY TEST!!! It's tomorrow at 1:45. First, I take my skills test, then my written. Really, I'm not too nervous about my written test, I did really well on the final, and I've studied hard. I even made flash cards. But the skills test: it's not even that I don't understand what to do. It's NOT hard. But I HATE people watching me. And I've asked Butch to teach me the slip release knot twice, and I just can't seem to get it. I get all nervous and I just stare at the rope, like it's going to tie itself. That is my main problem today.

Now yesterday there were more problems. 1)I have attraction issues with married men. This is number 3. Now the first one was Married Chris, whom I did not know was married. . . so maybe he doesn't count. The second, being Andrew, which really wasn't my fault. He got engaged then told me he'd love me forever. Who wouldn't have issues with that? Then there was Chad at my work. And he was dangerous. We'll call him Dangerous Chad. But now he lives in Germany, and I can not feel so guilty about even speaking to him. And now, there is another. Now let me just say, I am not a homewrecker. I would NEVER EVER EVER even CONSIDER flirting or anything more than that with someone else's husband. Seriously. My morals are good, and I would never do anyone any harm. My problem is, men and women cannot just be friends. And I have a friend that I work with, and I need to quit my job. He's just too much fun. ANd he's cute in a dorky boy kind of way, and I just feel horrible that I wish he wasn't married. Because he is. Nothing tragic, just a little crush that will send me straight to hell. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's husband/wife/belongings.

Problem number 2. I DON'T KNOW HOW I'M GOING TO MAKE THIS MOVE. I need a place to live. I need someone with a truck. I need a job-which means I need to pass my CNA. Refer to today's problem.

Schadenfreude

For any of those who have seen or listened to Avenue Q, this is one of the best songs in it. It's kind of like an R-rated Sesame Street. Twisted, however hilarious and shockingly close to home. Among this song are others like "the mixed tape" where Princeton makes a mixed tape for Kate Monster. When he gives her the tape, she sings:
He likes me.
I think he likes me.
Does does he 'like me' like me,
Like I like him?
Will we be friends,
Or something more?
I think he's interested,
But I'm not sure."

Which I know that we've all said those exact words to ourselves or our friends before. Then, she goes on:

"A mix tape.
He made a mix tape.
He was thinking of me,
Which shows he cares!
Sometimes when someone
Has a crush on you
They'll make you a mix tape
To give you a clue.
Let's see...
"You've Got A Friend"
"The Theme From 'Friends'"
"That's What Friends Are For"
Shit! But oh look!
"A Whole New World"
"Kiss The Girl"
"My Cherie Amour"
Oh, Princeton! He does like me!
"I Am The Walrus"
"Fat Bottomed Girls"
"Yellow Submarine"
What does this mean?"

How confusing boys can be!! Another song that they sing on this show is "If You Were Gay". This one needs no description--you get the point. Kate Monster is my favorite character. I can relate with Kate Monster. I also enjoy Rod, who is questioning his sexuality. He reminds me of one of my ex boyfriends. Kate Monster has another quotable line in the song "It sucks to be me"


I'm kinda pretty
And pretty damn smart.
I like romantic things
Like music and art.
And as you know
I have a gigantic heart
So why don't I have
A boyfriend?
It sucks to be me!

I also really enjoy the first song mentioned, "Schadenfreude," which is German for "Laughing at other's pain." I've had this song in my head all day long, which is a bad thing, considering I work at a place where most people are in a lot of pain. And those most people, a majority of the time, really piss me off. Anyway, the moral of this pointless blog entry is simply this: Avenue Q is pretty funny. And I need to quit my job because I'm becoming a biatch.

An Independent Woman on Independence Day

All you ladies who independent, throw your hands up at me.

I was sitting in church today and listening to everyone talking about their families and celebrations and fireworks and barbeques. . . I wasn't quite prepared for church today. Not focused on anything except seeing "Ike". That is my name for the hot home teacher I spoke of before. And there were no butterflies in my stomach, only feelings of nausea.

July 3, 2008: I sat at the bottom of the canyon, called Ike to come pick me and my two friends up-as before planned. I was very nervous to meet these "loads of people" that were awaiting us. A voice answered the phone. IT was not Ike's voice. I said "Is Ike there?" The guy said "No, do you need directions?" I explained that my car would not make it up the canyon, and Ike was going to drive down and pick us up. I said I could wait for when he gets back. The guy said they'll send someone down. So we get into the car of this guy who was a mix between "I'm better than you because I drive a really nice car with leather seats" and "I don't know how to talk to people." We get up the canyon and out of the car, only to find that most people there are couples, sitting and staring at us like we have scales instead of skin. Ike finally arrived, driving a jeep with two girls whom I'm sure I would have been afraid of in high school, and he comes up behind me and rubs my shoulders saying "Glad you made it!" He hugged me, and told me to be sure to get some food. About 20 minutes later, the fireworks were about to begin, and he came over and gave us a blanket to sit on. He disappeared again and we talked to this girl who had been invited by Ike to meet Ike's friend as a blind date. WHY DID HE NOT TELL ME ABOUT THE GROUP DATE??!!!?? I'm sorry, but "Loads of people" does not say "Bring a date". Piece of crap. Anyway, the poor girl was sitting by herself. So we sat with her and chatted away. After the fireworks were over, this is my favorite part of the story--Ike comes over to ask if we enjoyed it. To tell the truth, I don't remember what I said. I'm sure it was not what I was thinking. He said goodbye, and went to load up their stuff. The girl we were sitting with drove, but she was at the bottom of this huge steep SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN, which we then decided to go down. Yes, this young man and all of his really snotty friends, knowing we had no car up here, left us to walk down this mountain in flip flops. Lucky for us, Becca had a flashlight on her keys. We crab-crawled down the rocky hillside, getting gravel down my pants and grabbing onto the brush. We heard the revving of engines and saw the trucks drive down next to us as we laid there, hoping no one sees this hilarious foolishness. It was then that one of us said "I sure hope there's no wild animals waiting to eat us" and I said "I JUST KNOW GOD WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW!" And thank heavens He didn't. We finally made it to our car and drove home in silence. Walking in the door, Sakerra said "I don't even know what to say right now." At the time I didn't either, and really, I still don't. Except for one thing:

Next year on the Fourth of July, I'm staying home and watching a movie.

So all you ladies, who independent-throw your hands up at me. Dating sucks, hoping for dating sucks, and not dating sucks. Boys ask us to climb so many stinking mountains, and then they just leave us at the top wondering how we're gonna get down. Throw your hands up at me.

Happy Anniversary, Blind Jake

Ok, so Jake really isn't his name. But I feel like I can't really use his name-even though he would never read this. . . because he can't read the screen.

Anyway, a year ago today, I went on a date to the fireworks with a blind young man. On our first and only date, I learned how to lead a blind person thru the city of Logan without making him fall, I learned how to describe what fireworks look like, I learned that it is not romantic at all when a person feels your face and asks "What color are your eyes?" (unless I suppose, it's val kilmer) and among many other things, I learned how humiliating it is to say "That's not my shoulder" when blind jake put his hand on my. . . not my shoulder.

Oh what a night at the stadium. Ray Charles sang "America the Beautiful" as tears ran down my face- tears of humiliation and a wee bit of irony. Ray Charles was blind too.

So tonight, as I go to this social event- I will remember that no matter what goes wrong, it will not be July 3, 2007.

Blind Jake, I am sorry that I have been a coward all of these 364 days. You are a good person, and I am lacking in that department. You and Huck will find a very nice piano player. Maybe she will be flat-chested, it will save many awkward moments. Remember to be polite and ask her questions about herself. Remember to be patient with her, not everyone knows to stop before the step. Perhaps give her some simple directions to start with. She would feel badly if you were to fall. But she does not want to feel stupid. Also, on a first date, remember to be courteous of her space. She is not used to people touching her face. In any event, thank you for the memorable evening. I wish you all the best in the future. Keep playing the guitar! It's really cool! I've been trying for 4 years now. God Bless America.