Sunday, July 6, 2008

An Independent Woman on Independence Day

All you ladies who independent, throw your hands up at me.

I was sitting in church today and listening to everyone talking about their families and celebrations and fireworks and barbeques. . . I wasn't quite prepared for church today. Not focused on anything except seeing "Ike". That is my name for the hot home teacher I spoke of before. And there were no butterflies in my stomach, only feelings of nausea.

July 3, 2008: I sat at the bottom of the canyon, called Ike to come pick me and my two friends up-as before planned. I was very nervous to meet these "loads of people" that were awaiting us. A voice answered the phone. IT was not Ike's voice. I said "Is Ike there?" The guy said "No, do you need directions?" I explained that my car would not make it up the canyon, and Ike was going to drive down and pick us up. I said I could wait for when he gets back. The guy said they'll send someone down. So we get into the car of this guy who was a mix between "I'm better than you because I drive a really nice car with leather seats" and "I don't know how to talk to people." We get up the canyon and out of the car, only to find that most people there are couples, sitting and staring at us like we have scales instead of skin. Ike finally arrived, driving a jeep with two girls whom I'm sure I would have been afraid of in high school, and he comes up behind me and rubs my shoulders saying "Glad you made it!" He hugged me, and told me to be sure to get some food. About 20 minutes later, the fireworks were about to begin, and he came over and gave us a blanket to sit on. He disappeared again and we talked to this girl who had been invited by Ike to meet Ike's friend as a blind date. WHY DID HE NOT TELL ME ABOUT THE GROUP DATE??!!!?? I'm sorry, but "Loads of people" does not say "Bring a date". Piece of crap. Anyway, the poor girl was sitting by herself. So we sat with her and chatted away. After the fireworks were over, this is my favorite part of the story--Ike comes over to ask if we enjoyed it. To tell the truth, I don't remember what I said. I'm sure it was not what I was thinking. He said goodbye, and went to load up their stuff. The girl we were sitting with drove, but she was at the bottom of this huge steep SIDE OF A MOUNTAIN, which we then decided to go down. Yes, this young man and all of his really snotty friends, knowing we had no car up here, left us to walk down this mountain in flip flops. Lucky for us, Becca had a flashlight on her keys. We crab-crawled down the rocky hillside, getting gravel down my pants and grabbing onto the brush. We heard the revving of engines and saw the trucks drive down next to us as we laid there, hoping no one sees this hilarious foolishness. It was then that one of us said "I sure hope there's no wild animals waiting to eat us" and I said "I JUST KNOW GOD WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME RIGHT NOW!" And thank heavens He didn't. We finally made it to our car and drove home in silence. Walking in the door, Sakerra said "I don't even know what to say right now." At the time I didn't either, and really, I still don't. Except for one thing:

Next year on the Fourth of July, I'm staying home and watching a movie.

So all you ladies, who independent-throw your hands up at me. Dating sucks, hoping for dating sucks, and not dating sucks. Boys ask us to climb so many stinking mountains, and then they just leave us at the top wondering how we're gonna get down. Throw your hands up at me.


Toni said...

A title ...Hmm... I'll think on that one :) What can I say about this one? Another story that I pictured you telling me as we lay on the couch --well naturally you were on the floor :) --and we were sipping pina coladas. Well done! All men are bastards! Clink!

jill said...

hahahahahaha love it. that story rocks because it never should have happened. I still can't believe it did.

glad we got to play this weekend!

Kelly said...

Oh my gosh!! That's so funny! (And sad that those guys were so lame) Dating is annoying, I agree with ya on that. You are such a fantastic writer! I love reading your descriptions. Ha. Don't worry, you'll get a gem. "He's just with all the WRONG women"... as Lisa Kudrow says in "P.S. I Love You" :) That's a great story to chalk up for a moment when you need a good laugh though!